Now, on to the actual profile building. One of the most important tips for writing a bio, Dineen says, is trying to think outside the box, because, from her experience, a lot of bios end up looking pretty much the same. “Everybody writes that they’re loyal, kind, or funny, or all three, and it starts to just lose any meaning because everybody apparently thinks that they’re loyal, kind, and funny,” she explains. So, when helping clients come up with bios that will make them stand out from crowd, she asks them to make a list in response to the following questions: “What ways would you describe yourself?”, “What ways would friends or family describe you?”, and “What’s the quirkiest thing about you?”
Once you have that list, you can start to compile a bio that is unique to you. (Just remember to cross out the words “loyal,” “kind,” and “funny,” Dineen advises.)
Emphasize your openness to dating.
One of the main things your online dating profile should communicate-aside from aspects of your personality and who you are-is that you’re open to meeting and dating people. Taking shortcuts or being lazy when creating your profile, like leaving your bio blank or making it extra short, can send the wrong message to potential matches, making it seem like you’re not interested in pursuing a relationship.
Another profile characteristic that can send the wrong message is focusing too much on your family or kids and not enough on yourself. “Everyone asks me, ‘Should I include pictures of me with my kids?'” Dineen says. “And I usually say, ‘I think it’s fine to include one, but no more than that,’ because you want to give off the message that you are available to date.” If every photo on your profile includes your kids, especially younger kids, “that doesn’t exactly say, ‘I’m ready to date, I have free nights,'” Dineen adds.
Use high-quality photos.
A photo is worth a thousand words, and the images on your online dating profile will communicate a lot about who you are and what you want others to know about you. Below are Dineen’s dos and don’ts for dating profile pictures.
A high-quality, shoulders-up photo of yourself should be the first image on your profile, Dineen says. “You really need to show your full face, no sunglasses, no hat, no shadows across your face, something really clear,” she adds.
This is a common category of photos, especially for men, on dating apps alua, Dineen says, but it’s time to expire the bathroom/car selfie for good. These photos can come off as low-effort and just, honestly, kind of confusing too.
“I usually tell people to include one active or activity kind of shot, like something that you like to do, whether it’s a hobby or a sport or whatever it is, just something where you’re doing something out and about,” Dineen says.
Especially if your profile says you like to spend time out with friends, it’s good to back that up with some fun, social photos of you having a good time out of the house. “If you’re kinda dressed up and you’re out to dinner and you, you’re feeling good, that’s a good time to have someone take some photos of you,” Dineen says.
A good selfie is all about practice, Dineen says. While younger generations have grown up learning how to find the right lighting, get their best angles, and take great selfies, it’s not something that comes as naturally for people who didn’t grow up with smartphones. “Unless you’ve taken, I usually say at least 200 selfies of yourself, don’t include it yet,” Dineen says. It’s better, in that case, to use your favorite photos that someone else has taken of you.
Once you get comfortable with yourself, you can put more thought into who you’ll be comfortable dating. Dineen recommends journaling about the question-“Who do I want in my life and who is going to make me feel good about myself?”-in order to get clear on your desires. Then, when you’re putting yourself out there, “make sure that you’re not trying to pretend you’re someone else to attract this fictitious person that you think is right for you,” she says. The much better approach, Dineen says, is “just really honing in on what it is that’s really important to you and showing up as authentically as you can.”